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Colbert Review

Published 2006

A Canadian's analysis of the liberal media's blackout of Stephen Colbert's loving tribute to President Bush. Uses multiple sources to show Colbert's audition for position of White House Press Secretary in split-screen format with Bush's reaction.

News footage is copyrighted by CBC, ABC News and C-SPAN (although the C-SPAN footage is of an event in the Public Domain), and I'm using it under "Fair Use" rights. I'm not adding any (c) on top of that... all the "Gord" footage is Public Domain.

For anyone looking for Colbert's entire performance, my version has been shortened. In my mind its more enjoyable this way (the skit at end runs on too long), but if you want to see the whole thing, C-SPAN and Google Video are hosting copies.

Run time 16 minutes, 30 seconds
Producer Gordon McDowell
Audio/Visual sound, color
Language English
Contact Information <a href="http://OpenSourceVideo.BlogSpot.Com">OpenSourceVideo.BlogSpot.Com</a> <a href="http://ColbertReview.Com">ColbertReview.Com</a>


00:00 G-"Lookit... use the viewfinder not the eye piece..."
00:06 G-"Hello I'm Gordon McDowell, host of Colbert Review..."
00:24 G-"While our 24 radio station..."
00:32 Image of old Sony 8mm camera.
00:37 G-"Colbert Review broadcasts from Canada, where for the past 12 years..."
00:46 Image of Stephen Harper.
00:54 G-"I'd be running around the streets naked..."
01:03 G-"Harper, you let the Liberal's bill to decriminalize marijuana..."
01:17 G-"Melatonin is still legal..."
01:20 G-"Which is precisely why we need someone like Stephen Colbert..."
01:41 CBC Fifth Estate - "Sticks and Stones" excript. Rachel Marsden.
01:45 "Marsden is for the war in Iraq, against gay marriage, and she..."
01:55 "You don't really believe that?"
01:57 R-"Sure I do!"
01:58 Marsden on Fox News. "You just have to stand tall..."
02:09 "Speaking of values, O'Reilly and Marsden have something else..."
02:14 "...both were recently accused of sexual harassment..."
02:29 "Do you think its fair game... call them out on that?..."
02:43 R-"Well, sure, that's hypocracy for sure."
02:45 "So how do you handle your own background... Leam Donnaly, Mike Morgan..."
02:56 R-"That's not relevant to what I do."
02:58 G-"And my old hero Rush Limbaugh? I'll never forget that day... 2003..."
03:11 Shot of Ann Coulter from Fox News. "Ann is still a voice of reason..."
03:16 A[Fox]-"They [Canada] need us, they better hope the United States doesn't roll over one night and crush them."
03:30 A[CBC]-"Canada used to be loyal ally... sent troops to Vietnam..."
03:40 "Canada did NOT send troops to Vietnam."
03:50 A-"I think you're wrong."
03:58 G-"Anne, I love you too. But my gut tells me, you're a dude."
04:03 Anne's Florida voter's registration via Brad Blog. No sex indicated.
04:08 G-"That leaves you Stephen, Stephen Colbert..."
04:14 G-"That's why it was so crushing... how you were treated by the media..."
04:21 G-"Friends, the Liberal Media's liberal, liberal bias... evident..."
04:44 Bridges-"...why can't I have dinner with 36% of people who like me?"
04:54 G-"Bridges, your numbers are out of date."
05:05 G-"Evening proceeded as planned, but you wouldn't know about it..."
05:09 G-"May 1st Jew York Times, complete coverage of Bridges fiasco..."
05:19 G-"...Colbert gave 23 minutes or oratory bliss."
05:23 C[CSPAN]-"Wow! What an honour, the White House Correspondent's Dinner"
05:46 G-"Was it worth being being reported on? ...awed silence..."
06:08 G-"As far as Elisabeth Bumiller is concerned, Colbert was never there..."
06:14 G-"Lisa Lambert... ...only reports that Colbert stated..."
06:20 C-"Fox News give you both sides... President's side and Vice Pres..."
06:30 G-"Lisa, if no one gives you roses, its because you..."
06:39 G-"Elizabeth White of ABC News... least reported some of Colbert..."
06:51 C-"I believe the government which governs best... governs least..."
07:00 C-"Greatest thing about this man, is he's steady..."
07:12 G-"Elizabeth, if those are zingers, and not love letters..."
07:16 C-"Events can change, this man's beliefs never will."
07:19 G-"Then I don't know what is."
07:22 G-"Since we can't trust the ghestappo liberal feminazi media to tell..."
07:28 G-"Here's the remainder of Colbert's presentation, all sped up..."
07:40 C-"We're not so different, you and I. We both get it..."
07:52 C-"...we go straight from the gut... that's where truth lies..."
08:22 C-"So don't pay attention to the approval ratings that say 68%..."
08:40 C-"...he stands for things... on things... like... flooded cities..."
09:05 C-"And I just like the guy... a good Joe... loves his wive..."
09:14 C-"I am appalled to be surrounded by the Liberal Media... is destroy..."
09:22 C-"What are you thinking? Reporting on NSA wiretapping? Or secret..."
09:33 C-"If that's your goal, well misery accomplished."
09:38 C-"Over the last 5 years you people were so good!"
10:00 C-"Lets review the rules here's how it works..."
10:13 C-"Make, announce, type. Just put it through a spell-check and go home."
10:34 C-"Joe Wilson is here..."
11:09 C-"Man of the hour... Tony Snow... Secret Service name 'Snow Job'."
11:30 C-"Mr. President... I was vying for the job myself."
11:43 C-"I brought along an audition tape... my press conference."
11:49 Title: Stephen Colbert - Press Secretary
11:54 C-"I have a brief statement. The press is destroying America."
12:28 Split-screen begins: ABC News (Bush) + C-SPAN (audition tape).
12:32 David Gregory - "Did Karl Rove commit a crime?"
13:44 C-"Yes, Helen?"
13:46 Helen Thomas-"You're going to be sorry."
13:51 C-"What you going to do Helen? Ask me for a recipe?"
13:56 HT-"Your decision to invade Iraq has caused the death of thousands of..."
14:50 C-"I'm outta here! There is a wall here!"
14:59 Colbert leaves press room. "It reeks in there!"
15:02 "I've never been so insulted in my entire life."
15:07 Jump cuts into Helen Thomas's eyes.
15:11 Railroad from Washington to New York City.
15:20 C-"What a terrible trip Danny, take me home." Gets in limo.
15:25 Door locks.
15:27 Helen Thomas is driver. "Buckle up hon."
15:29 C-"Noooooo!"
15:34 Split-screen ends. Back to correspondent's dinner.
15:41 C-"Helen Thomas ladies and gentlemen."
15:55 C-"Its been a true honor. Thank you. Good night."
16:00 G-"You hear the laughter from the croud, see the love in the President's eyes..."
16:06 G-"So when you hear the liberal media complain... you're in the frame..."
16:17 List of shows which made no mention of Colbert's performance.
16:20 News Footage by. References.
16:28 Title: Colbert Review by Gordon McDowell - ColbertReview.Com


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